#Women2Drive: Opposing the Ban on Driving

This Friday, June 17^th of 2011 a group in Saudi Arabia are urging women to take to the streets of their cities to drive their cars – not in a manner of “disrespectful rebellion” to cause a parade-looking scene, but rather realistically to go about daily tasks such as going to the grocery store, driving their children someplace, or getting to their weekend activities.   There is no legal law banning women from driving in the KSA, but in countries like this, tradition and culture often bear more weight than the law, and the cultural tradition is that women take the backseat when it comes to everything – cars and all.

The excuse that is often used is religion; several Muslim clerics have issued edicts that it is somehow un-Islamic that women drive.  This probably stems from their other belief that women shouldn’t leave their homes unless necessary, and if they should leave they must fully veil and be escorted by a male guardian “for the woman’s protection.”  It is however allowed for a woman to hire a private driver to help her go out and about to work, school, and anywhere else.  The less fortunate can pay for shady taxis. The true reason for banning women’s driving is more because allowing it stands for far more than a woman being in control of a moving vehicle, but rather stands for a woman being in control of her own life and being independent. Once they would be allowed to steer their cars, they would demand steering their lives.

International news agencies, such as CNN, are considering this push for women to drive in the KSA  headline-worthy news.  Saudi news agencies so far have turned a blind eye.  I doubt tomorrow’s newspaper will include anything related to women’s driving either, unless it is to discuss the arrest of any women who did bother to dare break the law written in invisible ink.

The general public became aware of this push via a facebook page, twitter, texting, blackberry chat broadcasts and mostly, word of mouth.   I wish I could say this movement will cause a major change, but it most likely won’t.  People have been discussing how women “will be allowed to drive in Saudi soon” for at least the past six years, and every couple years an article in a Saudi newspaper has appeared stating that women’s driving is being seriously debated and considered.  Time will only tell, but until then we women of Arabia will be patiently waiting as we always are…

Sand in My Eyes and Everywhere Else

Well, anyone who lives in Saudi Arabia knows that water tends to be more expensive than oil, and sandstorms more common than rainstorms.  The months of February, March, and April are especially known to be the most sandy of all, with beautiful days with clear blue skies suddenly flipping into brown/orange foggy-like hell days.  I guess, since many of us are too lazy to head outside of  the city into the wild desert, it decides to come to us.  It gets to the point there’s more sand in the sky than on the ground…

For example, this past Friday evening (March 25th, 2011), Saudi news warned of a large sandstorm about to hit Riyadh within the next couple of  hours.  As I looked out every window of my house, I thought they must be bluffing.  The sky looked perfectly dark blue, and I couldn’t even smell any sand in the air.

Just in case…I’m going to close the windows.

Sure enough, within an hour the dark blue night sky was bright with sand, and my closed windows were defenseless against preventing the persisting storm from seeping sand through every door and window possible.  Indoors was almost as bad as outdoors…

I tried to sleep, but it was too late.  I had inhaled enough sand to the point I felt like my lungs were collapsing and my  breathing was minimal – only for the sake of survival.

Hey, maybe this will be considered serious enough weather that at least schools will be shut tomorrow…and at least I didn’t waste my time dusting anything today…

Half an hour later the news headline read: Schools will be closed tomorrow due to the severe sandstorm that has hit Riyadh and other areas.

Hallelujah!  Now I can sleep.

Desperately Seeking Sanity

Ok…so I’m back in Riyadh because of  shitty idiotic circumstances, but I’m trying to be as positive as I possibly can and continue to pursue sanity.  Might as well take advantage of all the hours upon hours of nothingness I have on my hands now, right? Yeah, I’ve decided it’s a good idea too

Therefore, I’m sincerely seeking the following:

1) Normal chill people – people who do watch movies, listen to music, and wear pants.

2) A job.  Apparently it’s ok to put my college education on hold and watch my brain turn to mush.  The least I can do is build on my skills and add to my resume. Any honest suggestions?

3) A fucking miracle in 2011.  A million dollars or more would be nice, but seriously something amazing needs to happen because I’m exhausted.

I’m Not Dead

For some reason I decided to actually log back into my blog and go over a few of the things I wrote and read some of the comments.  It’s been several months since I left Saudi and suddenly stopped blogging about my life in the Middle East and the complicated culture I had to deal with on a daily basis.  In addition to just wanting to have a fun summer vacation and getting extremely busy with college, part of me didn’t want to have to complicate what was going on in my life any further.  Why keep writing about things I already know when I no longer have to continuously face it? It would be as if I am perpetuating a non-existent reality. I need to move on. I think part of the reason I started blogging that final year in Riyadh was to organize what was going on in my life.  After all, communicating with the world is easier than communicating with people you actually know sometimes, and there are so many different refreshing ideas online. In a place of isolation as the KSA, blogging was my creative outlet. It may have also been one of the few things that kept me going. One of the things I never expected about “moving on” is that it’s easy to live a new reality, but it’s impossible to forget the past.  A puzzle with missing pieces can never be completed.

Most important life lessons from my experiences:  Freedom is a reality.  Live freely.  Live peacefully.  Live in the moment.  Happiness needs to be enjoyed.  Experience everything possible.  Don’t criticize what you don’t understand.  Don’t hate what you should only dislike.  The Middle East can never be explained in words.  Some things just have to be experienced in person.  Culture is not always as great as people who haven’t dealt with it think.

Pick Up at the Blood Bank

Irony is a key element in anything existent or happening in Saudi Arabia.  When it comes to segregation issues between genders, this element is further magnified.  Religious police are out to catch anyone breaking the anti-mingling rules and special sections at restaurants, banks, and schools are created to ensure that men and women of all ages don’t interact with one another.

Just the other day while I was making a few appointments with my mom at a hospital,  I decided I wanted to cross something off my checklist – donate blood.  To my luck there were signs throughout the hospital directing one to the specified area for blood donations, so there was really no argument that the blood bank would be hard to find.

Enthusiastically, I pushed open the door and proceeded to approach the desk to inquire about my donating blood.  The only thing that really caught my eye was a guy on the verge of passing out in the corner and sipping boxed orange juice to revive himself,  suddenly perk up as I entered the room.

“Here goes the juice drinking…” I said to my mom.

I got no response, so I turned around to find myself semi-abandoned.  I looked back and found my mom waiting with the exit door open, and I asked her why.  “You’re the ONLY lady in this room.  There is no way that I’m letting you sit here to donate blood,” said she.

I didn’t really notice that I was the only girl in the room until she said anything and I looked around to find many eyes staring at me.  “Oh, God!  I am the ONLY girl in this room!  Let’s get out of here…” Disappointed that I wouldn’t get the chance to donate blood and sure that I must have entered the “men’s section” of the blood donating area,  I decided to just make sure and ask if there was a “ladies section”.  To my luck, “No, that is the only area for blood donating,” was the response I got.

Damn…Are no women interested in donating blood?

Maybe lady after lady is afraid that by being the only female in the room,  she’ll be picked up at the blood bank by half-alert guys while they’re getting blood sucked out of their veins.  On the bright side, I think it would be of some service to these poor guys to have a lady in the room since staring at a woman seems to help these men stay far more alert than a drink of boxed orange juice.

As for me,  I had no choice but to think: Later, suckers!

Walking Out

After the chaos of dealing with graduation drama and two weeks of  staying up into the late hours of the night studying for finals, I was really ready for the last day of high school and the first day of summer VACATION.  For years I always imagined how it would feel to be done with school and to prepare for university.  Depending on my state of mind I would imagine one of two scenarios:

1)  Make a statement by walking out of school without saying goodbye – just silently walking away, never to return.

2) Make a statement by driving away on a Harley Davidson wearing a leather jacket and red stilettos.

Of course, I would always conclude that the first was boring and the second was never going to happen without my getting arrested.  I would have no choice but to go with the typical.

So when the day came and I finally handed in my last exam paper, I was more tired than excited.  I was actually in complete denial that I was finished with school and that I actually had to say goodbye to my teachers and friends that were travelling soon afterward.  The perfect word to describe it all is: unpredicted.   Undoubtably, I was happy, excited, and relieved; however, I just thought that my last school day would be a little more filled with enthusiasm than a need for caffeine, sleep, and a reality check.  Who knew that such a day would be barely eventful? Was your final school day any better?

The Moment We Waited For: Graduation

After all my years of school, which felt like forever and yet now seem to have been very brief,  the moment I always knew was coming yet always seemed so distant arrived: my graduation!!  Final exams, walking out of school, and celebrating my graduation came and passed so fast that I’m still having a hard time believing that my years of school are OVER, that I will most likely never see many of my classmates again, and that I’m moving on to a new phase of life.

As many things in Saudi Arabia, pursuing a graduation ceremony or any sort of  celebration for completing school was a stress, an argument, and a last-minute arrangement.   For reasons which I will never understand, my school has a history of falling through with pulling off a proper graduation for their senior class.  They leave their devoted students, some of which will have very successful careers and who the school will love to take credit for, out in the cold to fend for themselves in arranging a simple day that the students have been looking forward to for a very, very long time.  So, while my senior class scrambled for money, argued over catering, pulled hair over what color they wanted the robes to be, and eventually grated teeth having to plan an ENTIRE event ALONE without much help from the administration, while also having to juggle with exams and upcoming finals,  our generous school coordinated a week-long KG graduation – robes and all – for the multiple KG classes!

Of course, with several stresses arising and opinions clashing,  the fairly united senior class eventually exploded with arguments, and the students began to group into teams, each with its own “correct” view on how things should occur regarding the graduation ceremony.  The result:  two separate graduation ceremonies!  Yup, undivided until graduation did we part, but  separating was really the best thing we could do, and everyone got pretty much what they wanted, especially those who wanted a “mixed” graduation because like they said, “We want our dads to be there…” – a.k.a “We want our boyfriends there, and of course our dads too…”

Yes,  high school ended with a bang, an annoying bang – a blah!  All that took place reminded me how much I was ready for school to end.

As for me,  I did enjoy my graduation ceremony with my good friends and family around me.   It was an event that really helped me sort out my true friends from the fakes.  The truth of the matter is that I am very lucky to have even had a graduation of any sort  because I always just assumed I wouldn’t have one “because I’m in Saudi,” and “these things never get pulled off.”  Best of all:  My dress, shoes, and graduation robe were fabulous, and I got to spend the evening celebrating with the people I love!

Random Update

For those of you who don’t know: I will be graduating from high school this year – actually in a matter of days!!  So many other things are going on right now that I have not found the time or energy to write some recent posts, although I have so many topics and experiences that I would like to share with you in mind.  Putting aside cultural or society issues, I have plenty juicy stories of my own hectic life such as: “The Prom That Was Never Going to be Successful”,”Why Would You Want to Graduate with Class? *pun intended*”, and “Walking Out”…

So if you are a fan of my satirical, sometimes slightly negative, and realistic posts,  you’re definitely going to enjoy what is to come.  Stay tuned!  I just need to graduate and get some issues out of the way!

An Invasion of Privacy

It is  pretty obvious  that in Arab society “privacy” is not defined.  Everything is everyone’s business whether one likes it or not.  Anyone who has lived in the Middle East knows there are no such things as personal space, personal items, or personal relationships.  Being someone who considers privacy a right, I often find it quite odd that someone thinks it is completely normal or acceptable that extended family, friends, or even strangers meddle in what is not theirs for the sake of curiosity, gossip, or in the “true spirit of good”.   I think part of this lack of privacy stems from the fact that many Arabs are raised in large families, with many siblings and possibly more than one “mother” (a.k.a other wives of the father).  Often times, although these families are large, they may not live in suitable houses that accommodate the family’s need for space and privacy,  so kids will be crammed in the limited bedrooms (even living rooms).  Sometimes the mother-in-law, some aunts, uncles, and cousins may even be living in the same house, and if they do not share the same dwelling, they definitely feel welcome to stop by for a surprise visit any time.  Living such a shared life like that, it is totally understandable how some Arabs come to feel there is no need for “privacy” as they grew up just fine without it.

It’s very common for Arab visitors (acquaintances, friends, distant family members) to feel no shame in snooping about in a person’s drawers or cupboards just because they feel like wandering around and looking at one’s belongings while he or she goes to get them something to drink or steps out of the room for a moment to take a phone call.  Some even will do this browsing right in front of the host’s face.  Once I had a couple of visitors over and found that after I had stepped out of my room for a few minutes they had started going through my clothes and underwear.  One even took the liberty of using my hairbrush without permission.

Without a doubt, since behind closed doors life is not private, out in public one can expect nothing more.  Some Arab women seem to just love to glare at a person out and about doing his or her own thing, especially when that person is a Westerner – a true object of fascination.  They stare and whisper before one’s face, but they don’t think it’s an offensive thing to do.  After all, they are only expressing their awe and curiosity, and there is nothing embarrassing or rude in that!

Even at school,  our principal thinks she has the right to hack students’ facebook accounts by forcing some poor students to spill their passwords.  She then takes the liberty to scan through other students’ profiles who are on the friends list.  There’s nothing wrong with that, now is it?!  No, the school rightfully has ownership over the students’ private social life as they have ownership over the students themselves.  Plus, a little threat of deducting a few marks off the report card goes a long way when a stubborn student doesn’t want to expose his or her cyber world, making the process all the more ethical – no hacking, just forced logging in, you see.  As for cellphone drama, if a mobile is caught in school, the mistake of breaking the no cellphone rule is taken full advantage of by the administration.  The principal seems to just love reading text messages and going through files of pictures.  Spreading fear of what might be read or seen on one’s cellphone is viewed as the right way to discipline students who break the rules, and at the same time bored administrators have something to stare at, read, and then gossip about for at least an afternoon.  If they get desperate enough for drama,  someone willingly steps on the cellphone or bashes it against a wall before the student.  Sorry, but our parents didn’t enroll us in military school to expect this harsh treatment.

So if you’re an exposed soul out there wandering the streets of the Middle East or trying to hide under blankets,  you have three options:

1) Suck the term “privacy” out of your head.  Most of these privacy intruders are just bored drama-seeking individuals, or they don’t intend any harm since invading personal things is naturally in their blood.

2) Get rude; get cold; stand up for your rights.  Glare back at that person staring at you or going through your stuff…

3) Bolt the doors, close the curtains, and cut off all unnecessary human contact – but even then I cannot assure you complete peace.

Newspaper Coverage of #RiyadhRain